I know that it's been awhile since my last post however, I thought I would take the time out to share how I felt about my friends and co-workers suggesting that I need to take time for myself during my journey as a caregiver for my mom. Of course, I know that I needed that time, but that free time that I had was caring for my mom, I had a full-time job, and I had to drive from Virginia to North Carolina on the weekends and sometimes during the week if it was an emergency and to help my mom's husband so he could get a break as a full-time caregiver to care for my mom. I have no regrets about doing this as I loved my mom and it was an honor to be a caregiver for her since she took such good care of me.
Yes of course in the perfect world I would have that precious time to care for myself maybe to sleep in and/or go out with my friends but who had the time. Sometimes I wanted to say Yes, I know I need to take time out for selfcare and I know that they meant well but if you haven't experienced what all is involved in caring for someone suffering from dementia or any other illness you have no clue. I loved my mom and caring for her was a labour of love, so I wanted to share my time to embrace the precious moments that I had left.
I felt sometimes that I alienated myself from the world. As the world was going on without me. People laughing, going out enjoying life, my world was falling apart watching my mom's disease progress. After a while I felt that my days and nights rolled into each other as caregiving was a 24/7 365 day a year job and her husband and I were determined to keep her home safe and sound and not place her in a nursing home. My "Selfcare" would be the moments to just go to the store to run an errand, going to the bathroom, or dare I say it work was a welcomed distraction and a blessing to make me feel that I was part of society. Other than that my selfcare was meditation, joining online support groups, sharing my thoughts with supportive friends.
I always said that selfcare is important in order to be a better caregiver but sometimes it's not that easy.
How do you feel about someone telling you that you need to find time for "selfcare"?
How to do take time for yourself when you do have a moment?
Please comment and/or share.