Worn-Out Wednesday (When you feel that your best isn’t good enough)

Caregivers I know you feel this way sometimes. As I look at my mother just a shell of her former shell hits me to my core. Yes, I’m tired you know how it is. You must provide 24-hour care day in day out no break but does the end justify the means?

Her husband is developing high blood pressure but not as much as mine and I’m a caregiver part time as I’m trying to maintain my full-time job. Obviously, I haven’t been able to maintain my work to the level as it’s been in the past.

You see I said this before that it takes a tribe to care for a loved one with any form of dementia. The routine every weekend is not enough as my mom is going into the final stage of the disease. She doesn’t eat solid food anymore. She just drinks ensure and/or a banana that I place in the blender.

Really, I don’t know how much time she has left but I want her to be comfortable with her loved ones by her side. Did I play with the idea of a nursing home? Yes, I did. Did I think that I would be a failure If I placed her in a nursing home? Yes

As I sit here typing this blog post I really don’t like the idea of my mom being somewhere where she would be in a place where there are no loved ones around. I don’t know what to do. I will mediate and pray.

What would you do?

If you were in this position before, what did you do? And how did you feel afterwards?